For all my brothers of Bravo and Charlie Company I thought I would post some info on where to park our wheel-chair accessible vans so we can wheel over to the beginning of the ride and remind these young hooligans that freedom isn't free.
So the ride is starting under a freeway in a field next to Pigstand. Huh?
Anyway, south on Alamo street a few blocks is Maverick Park. There seem to be some parking spaces around there south of Jones street. Look for my custom van with the mural of the bald eagle on the side. And if there are more than one vans with that same mural, then look for the WHITE van. That will be mine.
Here's some sort of map info:
http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&hl=en&geocode=&time=&date=&ttype=&q=10th+and+alamo+street+san+antonio+tx&sll=29.431637,-98.481939&sspn=0.011886,0.014055&ie=UTF8&ll=29.432608,-98.481553&spn=0.011886,0.014055&z=16&iwloc=addr&om=1
If my nurse Hector was around I'd get him to pretty that up a bit.
People could also park in the Government Hill area but I can't verify its safety.
Anyway, I hope that helps.
Oh yeah - for any bike gangsters reading this (assuming they can read), go eat some raw eggs you losers.
as always,
the Colonel of Truth (Colonel D. Williams (Ret.))
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Colonel vs. the Buck Private (Part 1 of 237 of the Debate)
This is just one part of the debate between me, the Colonel, and some shadowy character named 'Jones', assuming that's even a real name. Jones. That's the oldest trick in the book. I can't stand misrepresentation. It makes my prostate ache. My nurse harangues me to take saw palmetto supplements to alleviate the pressure but I'm not into eating saw dust or whatever the hell it is.
Anyway, the "debate", assuming we can even call it that. I tried to be fair like O'Reilly. I gave him enough rope to break free. Instead he hung himself with it. It's troubling to read because its so painful, but here it is: Part 1 of 237 of the Debate, the Colonel vs. the Buck Private. Women and children probably should not keep reading.
(Also, Hector my nurse transcribed all this so if there are any mistakes don't blame me, blame Hector!)
Colonel: So how long have you been a member of the Communist Party? Always, or is this something you just recently heard about from the lyrics of some stupid band so you thought you would jump in head first like ever other dumb kid who thinks he knows more than his elders?
(Pause)
Jones:...I thought we were going to talk about bikes?
Colonel: Short attention span - that's a problem with your generation, huh?
(No response.)
Colonel: Huh?!
Jones: Next question.
Colonel: Your obstinance is weighing on me. (Quietly) Alright let's move on. Did you come from a broken home? In other words, is all this bike summit stuff a part of some cycle of abuse?
Jones: Was that a pun?
Colonel: What are you talking about?
Jones: - cycle of abuse.
Colonel: Will you answer the damn question!
Jones: I thought this was going to be a debate of ideas.
Colonel: Well, it's difficult when you have none. Between you and me, I'm wiping the floor with you.
Jones: You haven't asked me a real question yet.
Colonel: So you quit? Already? What are you French?
(At this point there is the sound of rustling like a bag being packed, a wheelchair revving its electrical engine, paper being thrown in the air, a door slamming shut.)
TO BE CONTINUED...
Anyway, the "debate", assuming we can even call it that. I tried to be fair like O'Reilly. I gave him enough rope to break free. Instead he hung himself with it. It's troubling to read because its so painful, but here it is: Part 1 of 237 of the Debate, the Colonel vs. the Buck Private. Women and children probably should not keep reading.
(Also, Hector my nurse transcribed all this so if there are any mistakes don't blame me, blame Hector!)
Colonel: So how long have you been a member of the Communist Party? Always, or is this something you just recently heard about from the lyrics of some stupid band so you thought you would jump in head first like ever other dumb kid who thinks he knows more than his elders?
(Pause)
Jones:...I thought we were going to talk about bikes?
Colonel: Short attention span - that's a problem with your generation, huh?
(No response.)
Colonel: Huh?!
Jones: Next question.
Colonel: Your obstinance is weighing on me. (Quietly) Alright let's move on. Did you come from a broken home? In other words, is all this bike summit stuff a part of some cycle of abuse?
Jones: Was that a pun?
Colonel: What are you talking about?
Jones: - cycle of abuse.
Colonel: Will you answer the damn question!
Jones: I thought this was going to be a debate of ideas.
Colonel: Well, it's difficult when you have none. Between you and me, I'm wiping the floor with you.
Jones: You haven't asked me a real question yet.
Colonel: So you quit? Already? What are you French?
(At this point there is the sound of rustling like a bag being packed, a wheelchair revving its electrical engine, paper being thrown in the air, a door slamming shut.)
TO BE CONTINUED...
Friday, October 12, 2007
Average Day in the Life of the Colonel
This morning as I was wheeling down the street in my wheelchair I was in a good mood. My battery was at full charge. I just had a wonderful cup of Folgers. Like I said, things were good. Then, I saw a gentleman walking his dog and said, "Good morning sir! And how is your day going?" He looked at me blankly (what other expression does the youth of today have?) and then turned the other way and kept walking. What kind of society do we now live in?
That's fine. Later in the day I pulled up in my RV and emptied all of my septic tank into his front yard.
So, how is your day going now?
That's fine. Later in the day I pulled up in my RV and emptied all of my septic tank into his front yard.
So, how is your day going now?
Thursday, October 11, 2007
A Brief Haiku for My Fellow Soldiers
The road will be long,
Our energy can't fail us,
Especially not when I have a barium enema scheduled for 8:30 tomorrow morning and my artificial hip is aching like the anti-Christ.
I'm still dabbling with the form and the whole 5-7-5 thing, which I might have messed up a bit, but I wanted to take this moment to let my fellow soldiers know that you aren't forgotten in this battle to end the Bike Gang Summit.
WE WILL PREVAIL!
,the Colonel of Truth (Colonel D. Williams (Ret.))
Our energy can't fail us,
Especially not when I have a barium enema scheduled for 8:30 tomorrow morning and my artificial hip is aching like the anti-Christ.
I'm still dabbling with the form and the whole 5-7-5 thing, which I might have messed up a bit, but I wanted to take this moment to let my fellow soldiers know that you aren't forgotten in this battle to end the Bike Gang Summit.
WE WILL PREVAIL!
,the Colonel of Truth (Colonel D. Williams (Ret.))
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Is It All A Lie?
Is it all a lie?
That's what the hundreds of emails have been asking me. And when I pressed them further this is what they tell me. "There's no way this could be real. It's too ridiculous. How could this Bike Gang Summit actually exist?"
That's right. Because this retarded youth culture bike gang movement is so debased, people are assuming that I invented it to show how stupid the kids of today are! If only I was that clever. There's no substitute for the real thing. The youth of today find ways to embarrass themselves well beyond anything I could invent.
Nonetheless, to prove skeptics wrong I have asked my enemy, a shadowy character named 'Jones' to a debate and on occasion, guest blog on this site so people can see for themselves that I have not invented this Bike Gang Summit fiasco and that youth is still as debaucherous and unapologetically hedonistic as ever.
Stay tuned. The debate will begin shortly. Please send me any questions you want me to ask. I've been studying Bill O'Reilly to try and be fair and balanced but I'm afraid I might not be as even handed as the great O'Reilly.
To my friends, I thank you for your support.
To the members of the Bike Gang Summit 2, go suck on some raw eggs.
,as always,
,the Colonel of Truth,
Colonel D. Williams (Ret.)
That's what the hundreds of emails have been asking me. And when I pressed them further this is what they tell me. "There's no way this could be real. It's too ridiculous. How could this Bike Gang Summit actually exist?"
That's right. Because this retarded youth culture bike gang movement is so debased, people are assuming that I invented it to show how stupid the kids of today are! If only I was that clever. There's no substitute for the real thing. The youth of today find ways to embarrass themselves well beyond anything I could invent.
Nonetheless, to prove skeptics wrong I have asked my enemy, a shadowy character named 'Jones' to a debate and on occasion, guest blog on this site so people can see for themselves that I have not invented this Bike Gang Summit fiasco and that youth is still as debaucherous and unapologetically hedonistic as ever.
Stay tuned. The debate will begin shortly. Please send me any questions you want me to ask. I've been studying Bill O'Reilly to try and be fair and balanced but I'm afraid I might not be as even handed as the great O'Reilly.
To my friends, I thank you for your support.
To the members of the Bike Gang Summit 2, go suck on some raw eggs.
,as always,
,the Colonel of Truth,
Colonel D. Williams (Ret.)
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
To Hell and Back
After having caused much trouble from afar, and having been described in Stars and Bars as the "C.A. Stubbs of the San Antonio art scene", I have decided to make my return back home to San Antonio to make life hell for all the evildoers. Of course I'm referring to the careless youth of "our" generation.
And why in particular am I returning now? Is it because my experimental hip surgery was a smashing sucess? Because the San Antonio golf courses have suddenly improved? No, and no. The true reason - the Bike Gang Summit has resurfaced! I pride myself on being the light to this nefarious shadow group.
My spies have told me that there will be a second Bike Gang Summit for Halloween on Saturday night, October 27th. The meeting point will be sometime around 6:23pm in the field next to Pigstand on Broadway. The reasons for that location and precise time are a mystery, but really who cares? I pass this along now so that we can begin forming a counter-protest ride. I encourage all my brothers from Charlie and Bravo company to join me on my wheelchair as we run these young hooligans off the road!
More details to come soon. I'm web-logging this from a truckstop in Slidell, Lousianna.
Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated!
dismissed,
The Colonel of Truth (Colonel D. Williams (Ret.))
And why in particular am I returning now? Is it because my experimental hip surgery was a smashing sucess? Because the San Antonio golf courses have suddenly improved? No, and no. The true reason - the Bike Gang Summit has resurfaced! I pride myself on being the light to this nefarious shadow group.
My spies have told me that there will be a second Bike Gang Summit for Halloween on Saturday night, October 27th. The meeting point will be sometime around 6:23pm in the field next to Pigstand on Broadway. The reasons for that location and precise time are a mystery, but really who cares? I pass this along now so that we can begin forming a counter-protest ride. I encourage all my brothers from Charlie and Bravo company to join me on my wheelchair as we run these young hooligans off the road!
More details to come soon. I'm web-logging this from a truckstop in Slidell, Lousianna.
Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated!
dismissed,
The Colonel of Truth (Colonel D. Williams (Ret.))
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
